RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: PLease its long but i could really use some friendly advice!!?

Background info.


We've been dating for about 2 years and 10 months almost 3 soon. We care for each other very much and I believe that we are very much in love, mind you he enjoys reassuring me every chance he gets. We believe strongly in supporting each other, me more for him (im just mentally more mature; he hasnt experienced any big life events.)


We seem pretty sure about our future together he talks about it more then i. His attraction for me he says is sky rocketing out of this world. Its mutual lol, he is as supportive as he knows how to be but like i said he hasnt been through that many life experiences (for the worst) to make him mentally tough. So its hard for him to relate most of the time (but im not a nag).. his family is suburbia.


WE have been doing long distance for about 2 of those years. He is away at college about an hour and half away but during the week we just don't have the time to see each other and sometimes weekends are too busy as well because of work and friends; we are both respectful of each others independence. We both have loads of studies and try and uphold a job and friends. I am attending a community soon to transfer to a school. Actually his, but i chose that school about 4 years ago. He is in his junior year (I should be too) but im at community and i cant transfer til fall 10 because community is slower. (due to economy) Whhich it doesnt matter if he is still at that school or not its okay with me.





The point!!!


He is extremely swamped with junior year not to mention he has his whole new life up there; living on campus. He is always stressed out; he smokes weed to relax him. It鈥檚 paying a toll on his short term a lot. But he enjoys it and I cant tell him to stop it; its his choice. We鈥檝e had issues with it before.


His job gives him no hours and he has no time or money to do stuff which I鈥檓 pretty understanding about it. Job really gives him 4 hours a week which sucks. But basically, this junior year has put me on a lower ranking of his priority list because he wants to do well in school plus we don鈥檛 see each other as much as wed like, which im being sympathetic for him





. Ive told him if we don鈥檛 maintain healthy communication and contact then I give up on us. He keeps promisng too but doesn鈥檛 fulfill it. How long is too long? I care for him a lot and I think he takes advantage of my leniency and sympathy so what can I do? I know breaking up is an option but id like to try every other way of helping us get through this before calling quits. Im not one of those stupid girls who all they care about is there men and put themselves 2nd. I put myself first and so does he which is good...


He needs growing up which I can tell鈥?br>

But what can I do or say to him in a calm, sweet straightforward way to make him see where im coming from and make the effort. I just feel intuitively more into it then him.. and I know something is imbalanced so what should I do, any advice 鈽?br>




Help?RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: PLease its long but i could really use some friendly advice!!?
Talk's CHEAP!!! No matter what a long distance relationship is always strained. It depends on how the 2 of you handle it also. If he is smoking the weed, blah, blahblah... it sounds as if he is a total pot head, wants his cake %26amp; eat it to. Keep doing what you are doing in school, take care of yourself %26amp; eventually he is probably going to be in trouble with the law.. put the pity act on you , then you will bail him out, then the down the road it will only get worse. I'm not saying that this will be this way, yet it could. They have their heads up their .... %26amp; that's the way they usually live %26amp; tell us any song %26amp; dance that we will listen to. Stay strong %26amp; be a leader %26amp; never let anyone drag you down in life. If you feel like you are being deceived, etc, then you probably are. There are many good people in life!!!RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: PLease its long but i could really use some friendly advice!!?
I would say OPEN HONEST COMMUNICATION! But....do not threaten to be done and then not follow through! He won't take you seriously!





But I do have a ??? How can he afford weed if he has no money? It sounds like his priorities are not in the right place in some area's of his life!!
well honey it sounds to me like you have a great head on your shoulders because alot of girls rune a relationship by just dumping the man and not trying to make it work. well i know how long distance relationships can effect people and be very stressful. but that don't mean when its gets tough to take the easy way out! right?





so how i took care of my problems, i went to see him and surprised him! sometimes i would mention a guy friend wanting to come see me and how he said i deserved better just to make him jealous and want to get on the ball. but you gotta watch out for stuff like that because sometimes it can rune things even more! and make matters worse! so tell him that you are happy he is striving to succeed in life, but remind him he made a commitment to the relationship and he has a girlfriend that loves him very much but cant take not seeing him and being next to him and being held! tell him how your heart feels and make it really heart felt. tell him the truth basically what you said in the question box!