I have been dating this guy for almost 6 yrs. To be quite honest we are both bored with each other because we've also been living together for 5 of those years. Recently he has been breaking promises to me and not treating me like a gf (not to mention we are engaged). He's a total ';geek'; and spends most of his time working/playing with little toy men called Gamesworkshop.
When I confront him and say we aren't spending time with each other, he turns on me and says Well, all we do is sit and watch TV (I've asked to go for walks, play video games, go to the movies, etc) but those are boring things to him. I've also tried to get into his hobby but that hasn't helped because I just don't have that wild of an imagination.
I told him tonight after he promised he'd be home @ 12am but didn't come in until after 3am without a phone call that I thought it was best we take a break.
Now I'm being looked at as if I don't care and I never really cared about him or our relationship. HELP!Relationship advice desperately needed!?
This is what I see. Love is not always enough. Not even all the ';want to'; in the world can keep two people together that can't find some sort of common ground. What you are lacking is a foundation to support this relationship. This lack of stability could possibly be all his fault as your question tends to support. More than likely though, you both bare at least part of the blame and if this relationship is going to get a second chance, you will both have to look at putting forth some effort. Some sacrifices may be unavoidable. Is it going to be worth it? I don't know. I do believe you are sincere and this is not a waste of our time to look at some ways to fix this.
You fall into the category of a childless couple. 5 years living together? What's up. Have you never believed in this relationship? Not once have you said to yourself, this feels like it is forever? Im not saying a child could hold this together for you. The intentional lack of a child does raise questions though.
You don't mention having any friends. At least as a couple. If this is the case, it is very unlikely that any single friends you may have individually can provide much support to you. If either of you are befriending a person that is in a troubled relationship themselves, there is going to be an undercurrent of negativity from that person toward your own relationship. I suggest that, since the two of you have very little in common recreationally speaking, you should intentionally seek out a friendship with a couple that can help fill this gap and also provide a positive role model for your own relationship.
There is only one person on this Earth that you have any hope of changing... that is you. If you are depending on him to change in order for this relationship to survive, you are wasting your time. Women can often feel, ';I love you just as you are... but if there are not a few changes, I can't accept you this way'; If you had a big balance scale and you put what you like about him on one side and what you didn't like on the other, which way would the scale fall? If it does not scare you to do so, you might ask him to put you on a scale of his own.
Now, sit down and communicate with each other. It won't be easy. He may have concluded that this is the best it will ever get and have no desire to voice his honest opinion. And if he did voice it, will you defend yourself to him or would you be willing to honestly look inside yourself and judge your own behavior and allow him the same courtesy. You must, at some point, be able to look deeply into each others eyes and ask yourselves, what can I change about myself to make this work. Hopefully there is something. If there is not, get out of this relationship and find yourselves some well deserved happiness with someone that you are willing to make a few sacrafices for.Relationship advice desperately needed!?
Time to spend a week end at your parents house.
well.. u guys need a ime out.. probably for a period longer than a month ... if it still is the same then u have to move on
time to move out.or make dates on the calander. for make the relationship grow, stronger also get consaling irt free in callage. you don,t need to be a student.
i suggest u still talk to him and i believe by and by everything will be fine.
Well pack up and go--it is over---it will not be any better---why stay?? You aren't married---and if you do he will only get worse--you 2 do not have a normal relationship....not even worth trying--you are bored and he is not ready for the big step. Good luck
**** girl if you asked me to play video games I'd be all for it ^^
he sounds like a bit of an ***..
It happens. You guys have probably been doing the same stuff over and over to the point where it's beginning to get boring and the relationship is getting stale. Spice things up a little! When was the last time you two went out on a date? Can't recall? Then go for one now. Find new hobbies that both of you can enjoy together. Partners tend to take each other for granted sometimes, so talk to him and tell him how you feel but don't nag because men seem to switch off once they hear any nagging. All the best dearie!
You guys have nothing in common. You don't really talk much. You are bored with eachother and you're not even married. If you get married to this guy, it will be a big mistake which will probably end in divorce.
The sense I get after reading your post is that you don't truly respect your bf. You call him a geek and dog him for playing his games. If you treat him in person like you're treating him online no wonder he's staying out until 3 am, he wants to be away from you. People can sense when they're not being respected or loved.
Did you ever fully accept your bf for who he is, hobbies, geekishness and all? Why are you two together if he's such a dork in your eyes?
Maybe you do need to take a break. Stand back and fully see this man for who he is. Ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life with him and can you accept and love his interests and quirks.
Accept him for who he is, don't think YOU will ever change him. If you can't accept the whole relationship package then do yourself and him a favor and move on. Life is way too short for either of you to be in an unhappy relationship.
well we truly fall in love after we live with somebody coz that makes us realize what are their bad habits as well as things we love but true love never gets BORED infact it becomes more strong with the passage of time...6 years is a long time and there must have been something between you two that you have stayed together for so long i would suggest u do take a break but before that u need to sit down with ur bf and remember all those times u two had loved share your feelings and analyze ur emotions for each other i would say don't let it all go just like that try to find some spark left don't just go away talk and make him realize why u want to do this tell him that your relationship needs some revitalization as its too precious for both of you and once you are on break away from each other both of you would realize how much u mean to each other and if you think u should call it a quit go ahead coz this situation won't take you anywhere...all the best
move on
6 years and bored? you do need a break. depending on the promises he's breaking, (cheating on you, or just not taking you out for dinner), you two need to decide where the relationship is going. if it doesn't seem to be going towards a good future, you might want to separate for a little. what made you want to date him in the first place? chances are, he was the same way in the beginning. take a look at the relationship, and make sure he knows what your thoughts are. you don't want to marry when you feel like this.
HUN MOVE ON AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL GIVE YOU UNCONDITIONAL LOVE 24/7 THERE ARE PLENTY OF GOOD MEN WANTING A LADY TO SPEND TIME WITH LIKE YOURSELF SO TELL HIM TO WAKE UP KISS UP OR DO WITHOUT.
GOOD LUCK ENJOY LIFE MAKE IT FUN AND STAY YOUNG AT HEART ALLWAY,S KP
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