RELATIONSHIP advice FOR SOMEONE NOT GOOD AT relationships?????

Okay, I am hoping I don't get ridiculed here.





I am 36 years old and have dated a lot in my life but never have had a real relationship due to very low self esteem and a rocky childhood. Relationships scare the s/hit out of me but I really don't want to be alone.





So, I have been dating this guy since mid-December. We go out twice a week or so. There is a spark that comes and goes. I think there is relationship potential but I am not good with relationships so not 100 percent sure. Last week, he told me that he is falling for me and likes me so much. He also introduced me to his family and his lifetime best friend recently.





Ok so far so good, right? But I am freaking out because this relationship seems to be developing slowly vs. love at first sight. Is that okay?? Should I just chill out and let things progress slowly?





I am just so anxious because of my track record. Can love develop slowly? I am soooo lost and a bit scared.RELATIONSHIP advice FOR SOMEONE NOT GOOD AT relationships?????
Just relax. Relationships develop at different paces. When I met my husband I was scared and felt like running every other second. He was calm and so sure of his feelings...which scared me more. However, one day all of a sudden it hit me...and he was there waiting. We have now been married going on 10 years. People just ';Get there'; at different paces sometimes...especially when they have had bad experiences in the past. Have confidence in yourself...and don't tie in old relationships into this one (including the childhood ones). Good luck!!RELATIONSHIP advice FOR SOMEONE NOT GOOD AT relationships?????
Stay slow if you can. Figure out how you feel right now and go with it. Make sure you continue to talk with him about your feelings, but try to stay positive. Does he know about your track record and your self-esteem issues, and if he does can he accept them? Be careful with men who say they are falling for you so quickly, sometimes they say things they think we want to hear, not necessarily the truth. I hate to sound pessimistic, but it's many times true (though not always). YOu need time to figure out if this guy is good for you or if you're just settling because he's paying attention to you differently than the others have. Calm down and be open about your feelings and if he can reciprocate then good. If he clams up and doesn't want to talk then you need a lot more time.
it can
it can absolutely develop slowly! that's the best part: falling in love with someone. :]





love at first sight can be deceiving; how many first impressions have you had that are *absolutely* true?





anyways, he sounds like a great guy that wants YOU! let things progress and see where this relationship takes you.
i wouldn't worry about love quite yet. concentrate on the relationship. from what you have written it seems as if it is going well. leave it alone, it will develop on its own.
yes love develops slowly. It's rarely love at first sight, it's normally lust.





Sounds like things are developing nicely, just see how it goes. It will only go as fast as you are ready for. Enjoy the ride there!!!
Yes, a relationshp can develop slowly. A good thing about this is that it gives a solid foundation to your relationship in the future.





You've tried the 'love at first sight' relationships. Perhaps try this way. This guy sounds great.





Work on your confidence, and be careful of self-fulfilling prophecies. Have faith. Don't expect it over-night, but change as your relationship grows. Concentrate on loving him, and being yourself, instead of any insecurities.
Seems to me that you are so preoccupied with worrying about where you are going and what to do that you aren't letting yourself progress in the relationship. Also, just because it has taken you this long to be in a relationship DOES NOT mean that you should just jump in something that will ultimately make you unhappy in the future. Look hard at this guy and make sure he is the one before you decide to spend more time with him.





Most love develops slowly and ';love at first sight'; is not true love. He may be infatuated with you but he doesn't love you. He's only known you for a month or so. SO take things slowly, go with the flow and if you start to have doubts that means get out, don't waste your time or feel sorry for him. Don't be scared, go with the flow and you never know maybe you'll have a little fun and that spark will become a fire.
Yes it can. Don't try and rush love. That could have been your mistakes in the past. I think that things are going just fine. You both will get to know each other and love each other more deeply this way. I hope this helps and good luck.
Slow and steady wins the race. I'm proud of you for taking a chance at something different than what you are used to... takes a strong woman.
yes, yes and yes. this are all healthy in a relationship. so, there is nothing to be scared of. just go with the flow and you'll get there. like the saying goes slowly but surely.
love doesn't just happen overnight!! you need to take your time getting to know this person, it takes a LONG time to really know if you love someone or not. just take it slow and enjoy the here and now, stop worrying so much about the future. have fun!!
Think of it this way: if you are going to spend the next 10, 20, 30... 60... years with someone, then why rush? The relationships that last are the relationships that take it slow. This allows you time to get in touch with your feelings, and not make silly mistakes because you didn't actually get to know the person you are dating well enough before rushing in.





Take it slow, take it easy, and enjoy the feeling of being in love.