Relationship advice...time away or time to stay?

Ok, so I know I should get over her, but it really isnt easy to do. The last time I spoke to her she told me she was falling for me....three days later, she was gone.





She's a very insecure girl, and it would seem she needs time to learn to be by herself, I know she needs time by herself to understand that there is no need for insecurity because she genuinely is the greatest person I have ever known. Yes, she was my first, but I was never one to give my heart away easily.





I keep trying to initiate contact again, and she seems up for it, in fact, even if it was as a joke, she told me she loves me the other day (via text, everything that鈥檚 been said in the last 4 weeks has been via phone) but although I love her, (even if she meant it as a friend) I know that this is not the time to even be friends. She is very messed up over previous boyfriends and experiences with bullying and bulimia, but I wish she knew I was there for her. I wish I could be there for her but it seems it would just make it more difficult.





I know that I am also messed up with this situation, (who wouldn鈥檛 be; I love her, yet it cannot be) I searched for any reason to hate her, and although I didn鈥檛 find any, last night she gave me one. I travelled for 2.5hours to see her act in a play, and I never even got a 鈥榟i鈥?(she asked me to go to it) all I got when I asked her if she鈥檇 be getting the bus back to town, was 鈥榥o鈥? I text her and told her I鈥檓 sorry for coming, and she got quite offended, as you would do. She claimed she didn鈥檛 want to see me because she was sick. Perhaps this was true, I don鈥檛 know. Nevertheless, I sent her a few texts to say that I鈥檓 there for her, one of which read; 鈥業 don鈥檛 treat everyone how I treat you鈥nd I think its ironic as hell that all those insecurities make u feel like you鈥檙e the worst person in the world, when really you鈥檙e freakin awesome.鈥?And I got no reply to this.





And at 1am she was online鈥 left a message on my profile saying 鈥榯wo words; f*ck you, B*TCH鈥欌€runk as I was鈥f she read it, I know she鈥檒l know who that was directed at and I feel terrible about it. Maybe she had been sick with nerves or something, or maybe she lied to spare my, or her feelings. All I know now is I definitely need to get over her, and I need to give it time and plenty of it, in order for us to both put our heads right. I鈥檓 gonna miss her like hell, and I really want to make her see that she really is amazing, I don鈥檛 want to lose her by leaving it the 鈥榯ypical鈥?60days, but at the same time, it鈥檚 easier to disappear than to wait around in the shadows and keep stabbing at her whenever I get annoyed because I鈥檓 in the shadows. I love her, and she loves me, it doesn鈥檛 make it easy that we simply cannot be. Do I keep pushing and trying to be friends or do I need to let her have her space and be out of her life until we鈥檙e both ready to be friends and see what happens after? If I gotta give her space....then how do I make it easier and how much space is needed?Relationship advice...time away or time to stay?
okee doke-


first love is kinda tricky to deal with in that the people who are experiencing this hurt of a possible separation or inevitable separation seems to affect objective thinking-


emotional, spiritual, physical and mental ties to someone are difficult to cut-


in your heart you know you should move on and THIS is the struggle that is going on inside you right now-the awareness of your growing in making good decisions not only for yourself but for others that may lack-


as hard as it is-you should separate amicably


then, what are the things in your life that have been on hold-


with FULL FORCE do those things


because the truth is- in doing this you will be on the road to your destiny-


it is there that you will meet the woman that will be on the same path and a better fit for you and by then you will be comletely healed


make sense?


make good decisions-sometimes good decisions hurt-but keep striving, anyway


best of everything to you








Relationship advice...time away or time to stay?
i think you should lie low x
i'm gona go with time away
Dont pursue her any further. I dont mean to seem rude, but she treats you like crap and you just stand there like a big punching bag and you take it all and after all of this then you still go and make excuses for her. If she cant see what a great guy you are after all of the effort you made to go to a play that she invited you to.


She is just playing you. She is flirting and stuff with you (only when it suits her) coz it makes her feel good to be wanted. She doesnt actually want YOU. She is more in love with the idea of you (or the idea of love) than she actually is with you.


Let her go. When her life is back on track and she feels she wants to get in touch with you, without you initiating contact first, ask what she wants and what does she hope to come from this relationship, coz you dont want to get your hopes up again - you just think thats fair after everything she put you through.


Im sorry to say this, but a girl with that kind of baggage is just sometimes just not worth the hassle, coz you will always come second.
definitely time away. no offence but she sounds like a flake. even if shes a nice girl, don't waste your time trying to figure how to help her. it sounds like she knows you are there for her and i would just leave it at that.


don't tie yourself up with someone like that, i say this because i've been that girl before (or something like it), and i really did have to figure it out on my own.
Time away.... this is WAAAAAAAAY too complicated to persue. Why did you leave that stupid message anyway - being drunk isnt an excuse.


Just cease contact with her and move on before you drive yourself insane.


x
I think you should stay. This is coming from someone who has been that girl. A few years back I met the love of my life. At the time, I was so messed up it wasn't even funny. I was depressed, insecure, and really just angry with the world. I love him more than words can express, but I would strike out at just about everyone trying to make them leave trying to make them hurt like I did. He didn't leave me, even though I tried everything I could to push him away. Eventually, I healed, as we all do in time...but it was easier him being there. Easier knowing he loved me. Don't give up on her. She's just hurting right now. Just love her. Don't necessarily be with her. But love her. If you give her space I guarantee you it will only depress her and make her feel like you never gave a damn to begin with. I know this is going to be hard. I know it's going to hurt some of the things she does (like the incident you mentioned) but if you love her, then you will be there for her. Love endures all things.