Relationship advice?

I have been with this guy for almost a year now and we are going to have a baby in less then 4weeks. my question is not only is he pressuring me into marriage but he wants me to have my tubes tied which was a good idea too me but I have not made the decision 100% I'am feelin a lil over whelmed and not sure on how too handle not only the pressure of the new baby but, there are alot of other issues involved in my relationship. He has 3 children from 1st marriage(5years later still tryin to get divorced) and has a 2yr with a young girl whom lives in another state and cannot see we are both 36yrs old I have reached a point of maturity in my life and not sure about him. He is unemployed right now a musican (wanting to be a rock star and has the ability) and we just moved into his mothers house.... as I await the arrival of my child I have 2 other children from my prior marriage my son will be 17 my daughter 13 and I have been divorced for almost 6years... I need serious non hormonal adviceRelationship advice?
What are you hoping for here? He will soon have five kids from three different relationships, can't finish a divorce and has no home or workable income. Where are your kids in all of this? How do they feel about your situation? I'm sure this is not what you planned for you or them. I think you need to take some time after you have the baby and figure out what you want. If you really care about him and want to build a future together you need to make a plan that is reasonable and work it out.Relationship advice?
If he doesn't want to have any more kids then he should get a vasectomy. Sounds like he's got enough already. And if you're not sure you want to get married, then you don't really want to marry this guy.
Well, if you are not sure if YOU want to have anymore children (with him or with someone else) then DO NOT get your tubes tied. It's a procedure that is very difficult, if not impossible, to reverse, and once it's done, it's done. If he's so worried about not having anymore children (and he should be) then he can go and get snipped. If you're not sure about marrying him, and you're not sure about getting your tubes tied, then that's your non-hormonal answer. Do not do anything you're not 100% sure about.
wow!





well you should make sure if he is the right guy for you!





also dont ever let a guy pressure you in that way, i mean if thats what you wanna face then i dont know
well it's is marriage or the child father will take off which it looks to be about to happen anyway.
this is going to be harsh but please understand i am not trying to be rude. at 36, why have you not achieved some financial stability that you wouldn't have to stay at his mother's house? You have children who are of the age to where they need a role model? is this the situation you want your daughter to one day be asking an online forum? I understand that pregnancies happen unexpectantly sometimes but why would you put yourself in a situation with a man who is not even divorced so that's morally wrong and then he obviously is not financially or responsibily stable. some role model he is for his own kids let alone trying to be for yours. also, everyone has the right to pursue a dream, but if he hasn't gone anywhere at the age of 36 then he should be pursuing that dream on the side while maintaining a full time job to take care of those kids that he doesn't see probably because their mothers don't think he's a positive influence for them to be around. also, you shouldn't want another child with this unemployed man, but it should be your decision to get your tubes tied. i understand why he'd want you to get them tied but thats your body and your decision. he's in no position to be making any demands and how is he gonna marry you if he's still trying to get a divorce? Frankly, if i were you i'd follow suit of his other partners and take my children and forget he existed.
If you can raise more babies on your own, then dont tie the tubes. He doesnt sound too financially stable and already has a lot of kids. I see why he wants you to tie the tubes. You should look at if its a good choice for you personally and then decide. Dont let people pressure you, do what is right for you and your kids. blessings.
I wouldn't marry him until he is more financially stable.





I would get my tubes tied, unless I wanted more children.





These are major life decisions and you should make them based on what YOU want both not and in the future, not what he wants.
What's interesting here is that all the pressure is being placed on you to have an operation with serious personal consequences when the question of restricting future choice to have children should be on your partner. As it is he that doesn't want to have any more children, surely the logical - and fair - step is for him to have a vasectomy?





I completely understand him wishing to not have any more children - it sounds like he's had enough, given his ability to support them. But this should be a decision for him to make with his own body, not yours - or at least one that you make together and with equal consent. Don't be pressured into anything, particularly as you've been with this guy for not even a year yet.





Why is he so keen to marry you so quickly, given that he has previous experience of failed relationships involving children? Is it 'for the sake of the child' or is there possibly an ulterior motive?





And I'm sorry to say, that most rock stars have 'made it' well before the age of thirty six, if they have any real talent: is he just a dreamer who has - excusing the pun - played you to the sound of his pipes or does he blame his lack of success so far on a fickle and cruel industry that has foolishly ignored his unique style?





You just reached the point of maturity: it sounds like he hasn't. You don't need to be unemployed to be a great musician-in-waiting: does he just tell you this to avoid getting a job?





Perhaps he's a great guy, sweet and cool - but why the pressure then? And you're not sure about him, so maybe he ain't so great. And perhaps his big break is around the corner, but don't hold your breath.





But there is a child involved. My advice, in all? A long and serious conversation about the future together, including about him getting the snip. If he won't have it with you and see the need for change, better a child in a loving one-parent family from the start than a child in the middle of a miserable two-parent mess. A two-parent mess that is, until he walks out to find the next poor soul who'll support his ever more desperate delusion of stardom.
just shack up and forget about marriage
You need to do what you feel is the best thing and do not listen to what any one else says. I personally think that having your tubes tied would be a good idea but that is something you need to decide for yourself. There are other alternatives to that. As for him, you should talk to him and I mean a serious deep conversation. Let it all out and don't be afraid. If he doesn't accept your feelings then why pursue this relationship...... You are about to have a child...a fresh life that needs stability. Run that by him and see what he says. The answer to you question will be his response. good luck and congrats on the little one.
In my opinion at your age after this baby I wouldnt want any more children, so tying your tubes would be a good idea.... 4 more years you will be forty and believe me after hitting forty you will not want to bear any more children.... and for your boyfriend he seems to like to have children and not take care of his responsibilities, so I think before you get any more involved with this man, move on with your life, he has no job, and how are you getting married with this man if he is not divorced and why isnt he? so he doesnt have to pay child support? he has 4 other children which he cant take care of obviously if he has no job, and who is going to take care of you and your child? Way too much drama you dont deserve that... good luck